Friday, June 8, 2012

Sweet Saturday Sample - June 9


More from Elly and the Geriatrics, my WIP, for this week’s Sweet Saturday Sample. In this scene, Elly is packing up the unsold items from their rummage sale table when Mrs. Bagley, the President of the Sunset Acres Homeowner’s Association, stops by. Jeremy is Mrs. Bagley’s trouble-maker nephew.

Mrs. Bagley turned and looked around the room. The chain affixed to her eyeglass frames jiggled. “Jeremy stayed with me for a while but, unfortunately, he was forced to leave.” She paused, her smile gone, and raised thin eyebrows. “Our homeowners’ association has a rule that young people can visit for one month, then they have to go. One month. I assume you’re aware of that restriction?”
Elly searched her mind for the right response. She wondered if the Bagley woman knew she’d been living with Granny almost twice that long.
“Yes, ma’am,” Elly answered, limiting her response to as few words as possible.
“Well, just so you know. We won’t tolerate any breaking or bending of our covenants.” She fixed Elly with a glare, her forehead ribbed with rows of wrinkles.
Elly clamped her teeth together, holding back the rude retort that came to mind.
“And another thing.” The woman’s frown deepened and she leaned closer. “I saw you talking to our groundskeeper. I’d be careful around that young man if I were you. He has a way with plants, but from what I've heard ....” She paused and sniffed. "...he has an unsavory past regarding women."
Elly swallowed a gasp.
Unsavory? Derek? He seemed like such a nice guy.
But then, so had Rick.
Just then Granny walked up and interrupted. “Why, hello, Marybeth. How is Jeremy these days?” Her voice dripped with honey. “I'm so sorry to hear he had a little trouble with the sheriff over in Fannin County.”
Mrs. Bagley backed away. “All a misunderstanding, I’m sure. Just normal high spirits in a young man.” She pinned Elly with a glare. “Remember what I said.” Then she turned as quickly as her cane would allow and hobbled away.
Once the woman was out of earshot, Granny let out a hiss. “Old sow. She’ll be spying on us like a fox watching a henhouse. We’ll have to be more careful.” 

Indulge in more Sweet Saturday Samples here: The Sweet List

19 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Sandra, for some reason blogger won't accept the HTML that has been accepted every previous time.

      Meanwhile, I love your characters. You've really livened things up as you've added the old biddy...lol

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    1. Thanks, Laurel! Loved your post today.

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  3. That Marybeth sure is a trouble maker

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  4. Ooo, I smell trouble ahead. Good scene!

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    1. Derek does have a secret... to be revealed later.

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  5. Old troublemaker. I like the sound of Derek.

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    1. I like him too, Elaine. He's basically a good guy.

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  6. Your characters are absolutely wonderful--I have them totally envisioned in my mind! This was a great episode with all kinds of questions and possible scenarios rambling through my head.
    Love your post!

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    1. Thanks so much, Sandra! I'm working on edits right now. Will they EVER get done??

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  7. This is such a great story! The characters come to life on the page. Can't wait to see more of Derek. And the old biddy! She's priceless. Good luck on the edits!

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    1. I'm so glad you like my characters. Now if I can just get them to behave! Elly just won't do what I have in mind, so that's changing the plot.

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  8. Not only are your characters engaging, but the dialouge is great. Keep going!

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    1. What nice compliments! I appreciate your encouragement.

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  9. I love the setup of the conflict and the characters!

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  10. I can't wait for this to be available on my Kindle. :-)

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  11. I love the gramma character even though there was just a snippet of her in the excerpt. Lol, I loved the "Old sow" comment. It made me think of my own Ma-maw. :)

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