Friday, July 6, 2012

Sweet Saturday Sample - July 7




More today from my WIP, Elly and the Geriatrics. In this scene, Derek has just purchased some garden tools Elly found in her grandfather’s shed. But even though Elly's hair looked like it had been styled with an eggbeater and dirt streaked her T-shirt, she made quite an impression. While women are concerned with hair, clothes, and makeup, men tend to focus on other things, don’t they?


        Derek stared in his rearview mirror and took another look at Elly as he left the driveway. Her tight T-shirt hugged her curves like a coat of paint. 
        He let out his breath in a wolf whistle.
        When she'd bent over to pick up the shovel and he’d caught a glimpse of pink panties cupping her butt, he was pretty sure his mouth fell open. And the taut muscles in her legs—long legs that went from pink painted toenails all the way up to heaven. Derek’s libido went into overdrive when a snapshot of that vision clicked in his brain.
        Wow.
        When she asked if he saw anything else he wanted, he’d bit back the answer that came to mind. 
        Oh, yeah. 
        He’d definitely be buying more of her grandpa’s tools, and he was sure interested in anything else she had to offer.
        For the first time in many years, Derek found himself really drawn to a woman, wanting to get to know her better in all kinds of ways. The feeling surprised and pleased him. Sure, she was good-looking, but her kindness toward her grandmother and the way she didn’t fuss about her appearance attracted him too. A nice woman—not at all like some he’d been with since Suzette.
        When he’d seen Elly at the rummage sale, he hadn’t realized she was so tall. At least five foot ten—maybe more. Today he saw that her height almost matched his own. Her body would be a perfect fit for his.
        A vision of deep brown eyes and wild red hair sealed the deal.
        And don’t forget those legs. 
        Oh, no way could he forget those long legs.
        He gripped the steering wheel tighter and stared straight ahead, knowing he’d better guide his mind away from the direction it was heading and pay attention to the road or he’d wind up in a ditch.
What are Sweet Saturday Samples? 
Each week, writers post brief samples of their work on their own blogs and then link them to the main site, so readers can conveniently “hop” from blog to blog, meet new authors and become better acquainted with ones they already know. All samples are rated PG-13 (or milder), though the books from which they're taken may be spicier. 
For more SWEET SATURDAY SAMPLES, click HERE.


Photo sources:

28 comments:

  1. I'm so glad to get Derek's POV! Even more glad he's already smitten with Elly. I'm just loving this story. I'm invested in these characters, but then your characters are always wonderfully drawn. Can't wait for more! :)

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  2. I love how he thinks she doesn't fuss with her appearance, especially after she was mortified when he pulled up. *Great* snippet from his POV!

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    1. I sometimes struggle with the male point of view, so I'm glad you liked today's attempt.

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  3. Ah, great snippet. It was fun seeing Elly through Derek's eyes. Thanks for sharing...and for visiting my sample.

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  4. I like seeing things from his pov. Nice excerpt.

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    1. Laurel & Elaine - Thank for stopping by and leaving comments. I enjoyed your Saturday Samples too.

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  5. SEX-X-Y! I LOVE IT. EVen my libido is in overdrive and I'm a female!

    I always go into editing mode when reading - just a bad habit! My opinion: metaphors are great in poetry but tend to slow down the action in a story. How about something like: "pants hugging each curve leaving no secrets behind." instead of:
    hugged her curves like a coat of paint.

    Keep the fires burning.
    Warm regards,
    Lois W. Stern

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    1. Thanks for your input, Lois. Originally, I wrote: "fit her like a second skin," but that sounded too much like a cliche. I'm still tweaking.

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  6. Ohhhh Sandy - you do have a way with words and a clear idea of how a young man's mind works. Did I say 'young'? Well - I'm quite sure that even the oldest man dares to at least dream and that is a good thing!

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    1. I'm smiling at your comment. Sometimes men are simple creatures, aren't they?

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  7. Whoa!! This is picking up a hot racy pace now!! if I liked it before, which I did, I loveit now! I can't wait for more!

    Micki Peluso

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    1. Thank you, Micki. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

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  8. I love Derek and I love your imagery which makes your characters come so alive! Great post!

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    1. I'm glad they seem real to you, Sandy H. I feel like I know them.

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  9. Sandy, You must live quite the life! This story gets better all the time! What a story. I can't wait to read the book. Thanks for another great one!

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    1. I'm laughing at your comment. I have a good imagination, and remember -- there's a reason they call it fiction.

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  10. I love Derek and his POV as well! Sounds like some fireworks might be going off between him and Elly eventually.

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  11. I am loving the description of how Elly is seen in Derek's eyes. This is going to be another great one

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    1. Thanks, Lindsay! I'm having fun with it.

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  12. Another great sample. I feel so connected with both your characters :-)

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    1. I'm trying to make them down-to-earth people that you feel like you know. I'm glad to hear you feel connected to them.

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  13. Like a coat of paint! Wow! What Prose. I really liked that.

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    1. I try to find original ways of looking at things whenever possible.

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  14. I love that he's so attracted to her and she's apparently unaware of his interest. So many great descriptions. This excerpt draws me in effortlessly and keeps me there.

    --Kimberly K. Comeau

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    1. Wow! Thanks for the nice compliment. Every writer hopes to draw in her readers.

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  15. LMAO oh my god you captured the man's perspective perfectly! I had to keep from snorting and shaking my head while reading this. He's definitely interested and it shows. But I get the impression she has no idea he's interested. Hmm... That'll make for interesting future encounters!

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